The Thought of Not Being So Alone
by Natalia Kyle
Summary: Set in a world where Casey and Alex are working as SVU ADA's at the same time and they are engaged to each other. Casey believes that she lost her fiancé in that drive by shooting that wound Alex up in witness protection, but when it comes to convicting Liam Connors for his heinous crimes, Casey finds out the truth. Will things ever be the same? Set mostly during 'Ghost'.


**Chapter 1**

 **A/N: Thing's aren't going to play out exactly like they do in the episodes, I'm going to be changing minor details to fit my own prerogative. I hope whoever reads this enjoys and I hope to read your reviews should you choose to leave one. I also really hope this fandom isn't dead!**

"Where is she? Where's Alex?" A frantic and disgruntled redhead rushed down a clinically depressing, sterile smelling, overly-lit hospital hallway towards the two people in this whole messed up situation who would have the answers she needed.

Casey Novak was on a mission; to find out what happened to her fiancé. All the information she obtained was from the rushed phone call she had received earlier from Olivia, informing her that Alex had been shot in a drive-by-shooting and what hospital to go to. Casey had left immediately, completely in a panic over what had happened to Alex, she had to be there, she had to make sure she was okay.

That's where she was now, and at the desperate sound of her voice, Olivia and Elliot's heads snapped upward, spotting the redhead rushing towards them, before Olivia finally stopped her from progressing further down the hallway, her expression was unreadable, was that a good or bad thing? Oh god what was happening?

"Liv, where's Alex? Is she okay? I need to see her." When she went to step past the detective, she was stopped again by another.

Elliot gripped her shoulders, but Casey's eyes were looking straight past him, wondering which room she could possibly be in, she needed to see her, she needed to see that her fiancé was alive and well, that it was just a small flesh wound, nothing to be worried about. However, Casey knew, the rational part in the back of her mind she was trying desperately to suppress told her that things weren't going to be okay, not with the threats recently made against Alex that had Casey so worried, that had her holding Alex at night as she worried if they would get her next, or her family… She even said, 'Or God forbid, you Casey'…

"Casey- Case, stop." Elliot gripped her more firmly to which they were forced to make eye contact. It was then she knew, she could read it in his eyes. The cogs turned in her mind for a moment, her brain trying to process the reality of it.

"No… No, she- she can't be-." Casey couldn't even bring herself to say it, a lump forming in her throat at the thought of the d-word. It couldn't be true, it just couldn't. It hadn't even been an hour since Alex called her, telling her she would be home later and that she was grabbing drinks with the squad, she told her the outcome of the trial too, then she told her she loved her and that she would see her tonight.

"I'm so sorry." Olivia finally chimed in, her own voice filled with sorrow, but also acceptance of what had happened, it didn't sit well in Casey's stomach, it was like everyone knew something she didn't. Apart from she did. Casey knew what had happened, Alex was dead. That's when the gravity of the situation crashed down on Casey's shoulders like a tonne of bricks.

"Oh God, no!" Tears began streaming from her eyes, blurring her vision as her legs buckled underneath her, Elliot holding her upright as she screamed for her lost love.

* * *

That was over a year ago now, Casey reminisced as she held her late fiancé's engagement ring between her fingers. Olivia had knocked on her apartment door two days after the murder and gave it to her. It was the only thing she had left of her since she wasn't allowed to see Alex's body. She wasn't even sure she wanted to.

Here Casey was, sat at her desk in her office with a heavy reminder over her head, trying desperately to hold in the tears as she thought about the last time she ever saw her soon to be wife. Not a day goes by where she doesn't think about Alex, where she doesn't mourn for her and the life that they were supposed to have together, so selfishly taken from them.

Casey kept the ring around a chain on her neck, so she would have a part of Alex with her always, so it could at least feel like Alex's spirit was with her. She remembered the night she proposed. It had been a special night, the night of their three-year anniversary, they had both been working that day, so Casey took them out to where they had their first date, up in the hills where they enjoyed a quiet meal under the sunset and stayed till stars replaced the sky. Alex had been laying against Casey's front, the two of them gazing over the city and up at the stars, Casey's arms wrapped around her middle as she breathed in the scent of her girlfriend's beautiful blonde hair.

After a while of laughing over old stories of law school and other past memories, Casey had reached into the pocket of her jeans where she pulled out a black velvet box, by then, their laughter had subsided and whilst Alex still laid against her, Casey brought held the box so it was eye-level with her girlfriend and flipped the lid, presenting a ring that she had picked out nearly half a year ago, waiting for this night so she could propose.

Alex's bright, blue eyes had shone under the moonlight as she sat up and spun her head around with a perplexed look, Casey chuckled at how adorable she looked before asking if she would marry her. Alex didn't even hesitate before she said yes.

That night had been so amazing… They would have been married already if it weren't for-. Casey took a deep breath to calm herself, she referred to Alex as her wife, even though they weren't wed, not that anyone ever brought her up anymore, not around Casey at least. If she had one last wish, it would be to hold her again, to tell her she loved her one last time even though they were already her last words to her. Alex meant the world to her, and the world took her away.

The grieving redhead had been so lost in her own thoughts and memories that she had barely heard the knock at her office door, luckily, she had caught the sound just in time to tuck Alex's ring under her shirt again where it hung on its chain and compose herself.

"Come in." Casey called out, thankful that her voice remained neutral and didn't give way to her emotions.

Her door opened to reveal Olivia on the other side, an expression just as unreadable as the night Alex died. Something was wrong, either something personal or Olivia was about to inform her of something detrimental that would tank one of her cases.

"Something bothering you detective?" Casey questioned as she sat back in her office chair, or her pseudo-throne as Alex liked to call it.

Olivia closed the door behind her and sat down on the other side of Casey's desk, a heavy sigh pulling from her chest as she did so, causing Casey to frown at the detective's lack of an explanation thus far. Before she could question any further, Olivia finally spoke up.

"We found new evidence on the Montoya case." The brunette informed her mournfully, causing even more confusion to adorn Casey's features.

"Well that's great!... Why do I get the feeling this isn't good news? Will it be something inadmissible in court?" She questioned, crossing her arms over her chest.

"We found ballistics evidence from the bullets at the scene." Olivia pulled out a manila folder from her side, something Casey hadn't even noticed she was holding as she came in. "It was a match from another homicide case." Without another word, Olivia handed her the folder with some hesitance.

"Again, I fail to see how this isn't good news, I'll have a stronger case with this once we tri the bastard that shot a kid in the head."

Taking the folder from Oliva's hand, Casey flippantly opened the front of the folder, only to freeze in horror when the first thing she saw was the picture of the victim. Nothing could have prepared her to once again see those familiar blue eyes staring back at her from the page, eyes she knew all too well.

"The murder of Alexandra Cabot." Casey hoarsely read out, her heart stopping in her chest as she continued to stare at the photo of her wife- or, would have been wife that is.

Casey's hand grasped at her chest where she felt Alex's ring under her shirt. Now she had even more incentive to put whoever did this away, he killed Alex- her Alex.

Justice will prevail.


End file.
